Why It’s Not Always #MyChoice


March 30, 2015 by Zerub Roberts


Deepika Padukone has starred in a recent short film that sends a very powerful message – A message about woman’s choice to be the way she wants to be, to dress the way she wants, to enjoy the freedom she deserves; what matters is her spirit and not her body, her heart and not her clothes.  Well so far, so good.

The video then takes personal freedom to an unpleasant new level – As you keep playing it, you hear the words If I want to have sex outside marriage, it’s my choice. Jeez.. isn’t that uncomfortable to hear. A person has every the right to break the bond of marriage and sleep with someone else, because it’s her choice -But is it really? I’m completely with pretty much everything in the video – for women’s right to be themselves, to express their sexuality, to be able to voice themselves on an equal platform. But to take that to mean you could cheat, be completely irresponsible, all in the name of freedom, is simply preposterous! And that’s not only for woman.

I could go on and show why such thinking is utterly absurd and self-defeating, not to mention pretentious – but nothing expresses it more perfectly that this story by Shefali Vaidya –

Mother to teenage daughter – Get up and study, exam hai na aaj?

Daughter – Whether I get up or not, ‪#‎MyChoice‬. Whether I study or not #MyChoice. Whether I answer my exam or not, #MyChoice. Remember, books and classes are temporary. I am not. I may choose to attend my classes or skip them and go to a pub. To use books and pens to trap my soul is to believe you can halt the expansion of the universe. Whether I go to college or not, #MyChoice. My failure may be your pain. I may choose to be a drop-out or not. #MyChoice.

Mother – Are you out of your mind?

Daughter – You should see this feminist video Mom, it will change your life.
Mother – (After seeing the video). Give me your cell phone. Also, I am going to give away all your clothes to charity and am renting out your room from the first of next month. You are welcome to stay if you want, but please be prepared to pay rent.

Daughter – Why?

Mother – #MyChoice!


3 thoughts on “Why It’s Not Always #MyChoice

  1. Bianca says:

    There is a difference between #WomanEmpowerment and a kid throwing tantrums. I was a teenager once and I can’t even count the number of times I was illogical and stupid.

    Every woman has a right to her choices. True there is a very fine line between freedom and absolute choice, and that absolute choice can have multiple connotations, good, bad or ugly —but to make those choices is my choice and live through the repercussions is too.

    • I’ve read your article, and I’m in complete agreement with you. There’s only one line in the video that I find deeply objectionable – the one about having sex outside marriage. Let me first justify the story. When the kid lives with her mother, not everything she does is her choice. Not because it’s immoral or that she lacks freedom, but because its just silly. If the mother were to be that way, the kid would obviously not be alright with it. She’d probably protest it.

      The same is true when a one enters the bond of marriage – you promise to be faithful, and you don’t get to break it. Because if you do, you could expect him to exercise his own chain of choices, which you’d find unacceptable.

      About having the choice to make bad, hurtful choices and living with the consequences – yes, we do have a choice in that too. But isn’t that axiomatic? Who’s choice would that be other than ours? You would say the point isn’t about literal choices but about having the right to exercise them. What sort of a right would this be, now? Is that a right that demands respect, and tolerance? I would think not.

      However, a friend pointed out that the phrase ‘sex outside marriage’ may not refer to extramarital sex, but rather ‘sex without marriage’, as in fornication – which of course is truly her choice.

  2. Yatin says:

    You are free to make whatever choice you want, but you are not free from the consequences of the choice

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Zerub Roberts

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