The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Farters

1

February 20, 2014 by Zerub Roberts

Mr. Methane showing his skills

Mr. Methane showing his skills

Many have tried to master the art of the fart, but only few have succeeded. The secret to a good fart is quite simple and can be mastered by anyone. It doesn’t require any innate ability. All you need is a desire to learn and a little bit of practice.

The best way to learn the art is to observe the experts and follow their steps.  Given below are 7 (+1) habits that are commonly followed by those who have diligently mastered this ancient art.

 

Part 1 – Independence:

farting_man_xlarge

1. Be Proactive Take the initiative to fart. Don’t just keep thinking about it.

2. Begin with the End in Mind Know what your goals are; picture out how the perfect fart must be, in your head.

3. Put First Things First If you want to fart well, you’ve gotta eat well. A man who has a tummy that is very full, will produce a fart that doesn’t smell so well.

 

Part 2 – Interdependence:

Don't be rude

Don’t be rude

4. Think Win-win Genuinely strive to produce a fart that will not only benefit you, but also the others around you. 

5. Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood If someone else farts, understand him.. when the time comes for you to fart, then he’ll understand you.

6. Synergize Creatively cooperate with others around you to combine your strengths and produce a ‘mega-fart’. This will be more eco-friendly.

 

Part 3 – Continuous Improvement:

7. Sharpen the Saw Everyone have their own unique way of farting. Be happy with what you’ve got and not worry about copying others. Practice daily to create a sustainable, long-term, effective farting-style.

Bonus: The 8th Habit –

8. From effectiveness to greatness Take the change from being an effective farter to being a great farter. “Find your style and inspire others to find theirs”

 

————————————————————————–

“Warning :4 Cancerous Behaviors” – 

Don't be a critic

Don’t be a critic

1. Criticism – Don’t criticize others farts. Be a critic of your own fart.

2. Complaining – If you don’t like the smell of someone’s fart, walk away. You don’t have to go to him and complain.

3. Comparing – Don’t compare the smell of your fart with the next person.

4. Competing – Don’t compete with others to produce the biggest sound. Just release how much you feel like. It’s not a competition, there’s not gonna be any prize; unless you want to be the next Mr. Methane. 

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One thought on “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Farters

  1. Roberts says:

    7 effective farting habits!

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Zerub Roberts

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