February 20, 2014 by Zerub Roberts
Many have tried to master the art of the fart, but only few have succeeded. The secret to a good fart is quite simple and can be mastered by anyone. It doesn’t require any innate ability. All you need is a desire to learn and a little bit of practice.
The best way to learn the art is to observe the experts and follow their steps. Given below are 7 (+1) habits that are commonly followed by those who have diligently mastered this ancient art.
Part 1 – Independence:
1. Be Proactive – Take the initiative to fart. Don’t just keep thinking about it.
2. Begin with the End in Mind – Know what your goals are; picture out how the perfect fart must be, in your head.
3. Put First Things First – If you want to fart well, you’ve gotta eat well. A man who has a tummy that is very full, will produce a fart that doesn’t smell so well.
Part 2 – Interdependence:
4. Think Win-win – Genuinely strive to produce a fart that will not only benefit you, but also the others around you.
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood – If someone else farts, understand him.. when the time comes for you to fart, then he’ll understand you.
6. Synergize – Creatively cooperate with others around you to combine your strengths and produce a ‘mega-fart’. This will be more eco-friendly.
Part 3 – Continuous Improvement:
7. Sharpen the Saw – Everyone have their own unique way of farting. Be happy with what you’ve got and not worry about copying others. Practice daily to create a sustainable, long-term, effective farting-style.
Bonus: The 8th Habit –
8. From effectiveness to greatness – Take the change from being an effective farter to being a great farter. “Find your style and inspire others to find theirs”
“Warning :4 Cancerous Behaviors” –
1. Criticism – Don’t criticize others farts. Be a critic of your own fart.
2. Complaining – If you don’t like the smell of someone’s fart, walk away. You don’t have to go to him and complain.
3. Comparing – Don’t compare the smell of your fart with the next person.
4. Competing – Don’t compete with others to produce the biggest sound. Just release how much you feel like. It’s not a competition, there’s not gonna be any prize; unless you want to be the next Mr. Methane.